Thursday, February 28, 2008

Its Her Story.... Chapter4

She has grown so frail i thought when i saw her. She was asleep when i called on a visit. The daughter, a middle aged woman;a beauty by herself smiled as she came at the door.

She came to the verandah where i sat, reading the newspaper. Her attire was dishevelled but a starched white.. neat and dignified as always. She looked at me with a question in her eyes. I had learnt to read them. It was so easy in fact. Those two sparkling windows were forever open.

Yes, i was reading the newspaper. Something i never did in my 16 years on this earth so far. I felt the change myself. Something about her was gripping my life, transforming me too. A sobering grip.

Today i was feeling a bit irritated even as i came in. Dad and Mom had joined forces to deny me permission for a late night party at Maggie's place. (Maggie is my best friend though we have a crush on the same person... ). I felt i was old enough to know what was right and what was wrong.
Moreover i was becoming a very mature girl after i had become friends with 'meea' (thats what i called her)... I was no longer seeing the world through rose tinted glasses. How could they not see the changes. The way i read the newspaper... i looked after my baby sister with no comlpaint... i enquired after my grandmother's health... i always took care to call home if i had extra classes... all those important changes...

I felt i could picture meeaa's youthful face. She was not a beauty ever. Her smile always reached her eyes. Thats what i saw in her.

She settled down into her armchair slowly with a strange smile. And looked at me again. Waiting for the reason.

"Meea... how was it when you were small? Did your parents make irrational rules on you?" I hoped they hadnt. I wanted to link my life to hers. Tread the path she had...

Once again she smiled. And closed her eyes. After the longest short silence i had endured, she said... 'No... they never did'...

I smiled and giggled... "They let you go to the neighbours' even if it were late right, meea?" I guessed that that was the equivalent of my party...

She only smiled....

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Its Her Story.. Chap3

'He'


' "See her... aaa... there... the one thats laughing now?"


The man in question searched trying not to be seen to be doing so. He spotted her.

A girl with hair braided in two thin loops.. she wore a bright green skirt and red blouse.Laughing loud as the group moved in no great hurry... Her face radiated a confidence and happiness. The kind of expression that told you the girl was in command of herself... a worthy conquest she would be. The kind that gave a man a feeling of worth to possess.

"Marry her. She's the smartest of them. midukkiya..."

The friend looked at him. He was a handsome man himself.. in his 20's. Kuriachan was already earning a heap from his own shop. A man of honest means. They had been trying to rope him in with eligible Girls in the village but he was busy building his shop. He had a shrewd sense in money matters. The eldest of a family with 10 siblings. His only brother was the third child but died when he was only eight... Snake bite... The nearest hospital of any sort was many miles away and the medium to reach there was across the thickets, a swinging rope-bridge and a long dusty road flanked by the paddy fields... and yes, on foot.

"Her mother passed away when she was seven. And with three sisters" the friend was saying... effecting a sigh. Of course it meant nothing to the fellow.On the contrary it was a hint that if he should want her, she was more for the taking than the usual procedures afforded for any girl.

The man smiled.Yes, the bubbly little girl looked perfect for him.He had decided. And she was hers.He had seen her see him... Now they moved away in concentrated discussion about him... or so he thought.


'She'


It was the first day after summer vacation.

Naaniamma was telling her of how she had got a 'pottu' on her forehead." A permanent one.. not the ordinary smeared one.' Pick a big red ant by the middle.. its swollen back means its got an egg in it. pop the tiny white egg out tto.. then press it onto your forehead where you want the 'pottu'. It sinks right in, Kalyaniii.. 'sathyam'!" "noooo" rang the voices in unison and they laughed at her..

The teasing and wisecracks followed for sometime as naaniamma tried to convince them. Her cousin next door was a verrrry big person... mother of a two year old. The cousin was four years older than her, she said ...and a very wise person. She could make lots of curries.. more than they knew. She must be very smart because her in-laws were nice to her. Hence her source was of the most reliable nature.

After the due tauntings, they sank into a more sober discussion of the truth of the story. " i think we should try it today after school" she said now...Nobody said anything but it was understood. When Susamma said anything, it was usually common word. She had that quality about her. To absorb vibes... There were girls in her class who envied her being first in class always... and most of the boys resented it... It hurt their pride... coming from a mere trifle of a girl...it was too much to endure There were very few who just respected her. She was also the most fun-loving of the lot. Always into mischiefs outside school.

"But you know what.... i heard that doing so is good.It makes you intelligent"......

" No.... what i think is that it harmful to the skin. The egg will go into your forehead and drop into your eyes sometimes. naaniamma must have been lucky alleee?? "

"i have heard that the egg will open because of the heat of our body and the ant will eat up the skin.... "


Susamma was silent. She was thinking of what was going to be taught in class today.

Today the 'maash' ('teacher')would anounce the class marks also.. What would it be this time?

She envisioned herself running up the slope into the arms of her waiting father with her slate .. in elation... she wanted to hear her father commend her... he would do so... yes, she knew it. She sighed.

A feeling of security enveloped her as she looked up and they crossed the school gate...

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Its Her Story.. Chapter2

It was some time before i realized i was thinking of her. i had got some free time to myself inspite of all the school work and started thinking of my future... aspirations... a career.. a love... all that would possibly make up my life... A world of possibilities. Anything is possible from here on... anything may happen... My whole life awaited me.

And then i thought about her... Didnt she have these moments? what did she want to be? what were her aspirations... her life's wants?I was surprisingly fascinated at the thought.. what could they be? In her times... i wanted to live her life for a few moments and see. But how can i...

She was very surprised when i asked her. That was no secret from her expression..'Child, thats a very queer question...' she said. But that was was not an answer to me.

Once again i saw her look away into the far distance. That familiar expression. The same fire in her eyes that had struck me always...

After a long silence, i followed her gaze as we sat on the verandah; as usual i was at her feet. Another house stood there opposite ours. She was definitely not looking at that! And then it struck me... a wild possibility...

Had she not ever thought of such things?!

I felt the pang that comes with a thought to assure you of the truth of it... My excitement died down in full realization of a simple fact. I turned to her again. She turned to me and then she smiled. That warm smile of comfort. As if she were telling me it was okay... me...telling me...

i looked down without smiling. I felt 50 years older. I saw that her life was never simple. Not comprehensible in my world. Once i had wondered what her world was like. But i had peppered it with a lot of romance. Maybe i had been watching too many movies. Perhaps not. Perhaps it was my fertile imagination.

'I didnt want for anything at 11, child. but now i know what to wish for...Now that you ask,i wanted me to grow up, finish my education... and then, maybe marry.' she sighed. 'but then, all i did was marry'.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

When Goldilocks broke her silence.. A study in human nature.

DISCLAIMER:Resemblance to any person living or dead is puerely coincidental and non-intentional.

They say dynamite comes in small packages. And wasnt there something about wise men having few words?... hmmm... just a thought.

The first time i set my eyes on Goldilocks, she struck me as... simple.I noticed she had light eyes but she had a pair of bodyguards guarding them that prevented me from exploring the magnitude of mystery in those eyes. A smiling cute faced girl was all i thought.

Whats in a name? and how much do you go by appearances...

Goldilocks is a good friend of mine. I want you to meet her.

She's petite... err understatement... but then i hope my opening sentence does the trick. She's got a horrid complex over it... i think she's got a complex that she does not have a complex.

Its her silence that first puzzled.. then irked... and finally fascinated me.

Yeah.. those eyes. I had a chance to decipher their language when the bodyguards went to sleep sometimes. Goldilocks doesnt speak much. Silence is the most infinitely translated language i believe. She's got a stand.Her own rules to go by.

When everyone is shouting at the top of their their voice to be heard , many are the times i have seen her stand there... watching, not a word but watching;a slight frown and concentrated observation... those eyes... it was too obvious.A Studied silence. Individualistic attitude. When confronted or addressed, the words are bold and firm.

Hats off, i thought as i looked away from that face. In awe, i smiled to myself at the final unveiling of the uniqueness of human nature and the traits that go with it.

I could sit back and relax with the knowledge.. Lets have the feather in the cap...:

A part of a conversation i overheard...' goldilocks c'mon how come you keep mum most of the time?'

I turned and saw them. And i smiled to myself .It was our secret... what would she answer...

'processing time yaar... i dont get the swing of the conversation half the time'

$%&*@!!!!!

And with it, my years of research on the mysteries nd intricancies of human nature.


PS: i'll be available at the Centre for Learned Scholars of Human Behaviour. Planning on a PhD